Remember when Microsoft was going to Open up and let the Sun Shine in?

You can be forgiven if you don't - no one remembers.

It was a great fantastic day - Microsoft was opening up and letting the community develop 3rd party apps!  

Of course they did this just to try and steal some spotlight from Apple, who planned to make the same announcement that same week.  Why do we know this?

Because there isn't a single piece of news we can point to about the success of Microsoft's app store.  That whole story is about Apple.  Why else do we know this?  Because the press conference sounded like Saddam Hussein informing the people that he was taking over, and that all his enemies would be escorted outside of the auditorium and summarily shot.  

Take a look at the happy news Scott sent me that happy day of Feb 21st, 2008 :

HD-DVD death spotlights Microsoft¹s weakness

http://macdailynews.com/index.php/weblog/comments/16463/

Now this next one is hilarious -- Microsoft had a gigantic press conference this morning. Why? To release new innovative products? No. To say that they promise to expand interoperability & increase openness of key products... something that other companies (like Apple) have been doing for years.  Basically, they're getting the ass reamed by creating their own proprietary
technologies that simply don't work, and people are flocking to solutions from companies like Apple which are based on OPENNESS & INDUSTRY STANDARDS.  Apple has completely standardized on open standards, which is ironically why they haven't put Flash on the iPhone yet... because Flash is a proprietary standard controlled by one company, Adobe. In any case, here's Microsoft's press release today:

http://macdailynews.com/index.php/weblog/comments/16464/

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Scott Rose
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Contributing Editor, Mac|Life Magazine

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Here is me looking deep into the future - ok, actually I was just doing the basic math of Microsoft reality:

The news that Microsoft is "opening up" is slightly different news for the PC than it is for the Xbox.  It is related, I think, but slightly different, and I think it will fail for a different reason.

 

Video game making is just too fucking big.  It just requires a sheer amount of program coding that most individuals aren't prepared to do.  That is going to be a dud only because a) people aren't that creative and b) people don't have all the time in the world to make free content for MS.

 

By way of example on this -  a) I give you the Sims Online.  

In the months preceding its release, it was heralded as the next BiG ThinG.  Online Game makers were shaking, like Netflix in the shadow of Appletv (before Appletv turned out to be no threat at all).  Supposedly this was going to be the online community that (like only the Wii would do later) would actually bring in a real strong number of WOMEN, and people would leave games like Everquest in DROVES to go and live this other life online.  The Sims single player was huge, so naturally the chance to create these peaceful communities with other real live players would just be... Huge.

 

Well it was not.  When the game released it was one big Sandbox.  It was like getting a box of Legos.  It was all in parts, and you were told "Go to it!  YOU create the environment!  YOU create the city!  YOU make the entertainment!"

 

In other words, there was just a lot of empty space. 

 

As an example of what happens when you are given a lot of empty space and how terrifying that is, I give you every writer who has ever written a book.

 

They had no developers in place, no starting content.  They essentially told the playing community to go to work for free and create the game they had paid for.  People didn't really see it that way, they were very excited at first... but... um... where to start?

 

So months later, every magazine was scratching its metaphorical head and analyzing the colossal failure of Sims Online.  It was a disaster.  Everything in the game was the same.  Every "place" you could visit in the game, player created, was the same - in that everything was wildly different and had no logic to it.  Every place was a bar, and had every manner of entertainment to it.  Santa Claus would be dancing in a cage, bikers in Daisy Duke shorts would be up at the jukebox.  There was a struggle to do ANYthing creative, so people would just do what in improv we use to call 'Bringing in the Barrel of Monkeys'.  And no matter how zany you went, it didn't change the fact that there was nothing to DO.  No matter what you put in that spot, all I can do is look at it.  What now?

 

For the Xbox, it's going to be MILES worse, because you are asking the individual to not only create something fun and interesting (which is hard - as an example I give you a young screenplay with a fantastic beginning and a nonexistent middle)  but they have to have the DOUBLE WHAMMY of being great coders.  AND being great coders for the Xbox, and whatever the software is that month.  Good luck with that.  Let me know how that's going three years from now which is how long this takes.

 

The PC open-ness will fail for a different reason. 

 

When they let you program for a game on PC, here's how it's done.  On the company website, or sometimes included with the game, they give you the SDK.  That's it. 

 

In other words, they leave the tools outside, as is, and let anyone who wants to, just walk away with them and get to making new content.

 

When CounterStrike, and other mods for Half Life took off, not only did Half Life give up the tools to people to do what they wished, but when they were making Half Life 2, they called in some of these mod makers - PEOPLE THAT WEREN'T ON A PAYROLL, TOTAL NOBODIES - and let them get a look at the new game so they could get some thoughts on new mods ahead of time, and start gearing in that direction.  They tried, even though Valve is notoriously secretive - they tried to treat these people like family.

 

Ion Storm, makers of one of my all time faves, Deus Ex, used to hold mod competitions, trying to push people to really bending the game around into something new.

 

Even with all this support, maybe a couple of good things came out of it because... being creative is hard.  In other words, these companies, knowing how hard it is to be creative, tried to make it so that the task was ONLY about being creative, and being a decent programmer.

 

Now, I don't know ANYTHING AT ALL about how Apple does this.  I have no idea what openness entails for them, so maybe this is the way business is always done.

 

But I think Microsoft will fail at this because of themselves.  They are idiots.  They aren't just "giving away" the tools!  You are going to have to bring a TEAM OF LAWYERS with you to get these tools.  In the article itself, Microsoft is STILL CONCERNED above all with proprietary this and patent that.  And it sounds like within every program it works three different ways!  Some stuff you can use, some stuff you have to know to get permission for, some stuff you can't use.  HUH?  There was all kinds of legal talk RIGHT WITHIN THE PRESS RELEASE.  WHAT?!?

 

Way to bring in new members of the family. 

 

As I say, maybe this is the way computer modding is always done.  Maybe you always have to sign papers and pay lawyers. 

 

But it sounds like a whole lot has to be done before someone can even be creative.

 

But ok, that's not really why this will fail, it's just something I think is alarming.

 

The reason it will fail is that now LOTS of people will be programming apps for broken code.  We all know the shit doesn't work.  So now lots of people will be creating arms and legs for shit where the brain and the heart don't work.  I don't doubt that in the new mess, one, MAYBE two great apps may come out.  So?  How did that blogger feel last week when he was trying to install his favorite Microsoft blog app?  HE COULDN'T GET IT INSTALLED.  SCOTT, HE COULDN'T EVEN GET IT FUCKING INSTALLED.

 

This isn't going to work because Microsoft is BEGRUDGINGLY letting people make new content for their machines. 

 

BUT SCOTT -EVEN WHOLE TEAMS, EVEN WHOLE COMPANIES ARE STYMIED TRYING TO DO THIS.  Microsoft doesn't make clear, easy to use product!  So users are going to get frustrated once they really get a load of the mess that is this code, and they're going to "call" for Microsoft to clean up and correct things to make it easier to program for, and MICROSOFT ISN'T GOING TO DO IT - JUST LIKE THEY HAVEN'T DONE FOR ANYONE, JUST LIKE THEY DON'T DO EVEN WHEN THEY ARE PAYING.  If they won't do it when they are paying, why will they do it for people who are making apps for free?

 

So, it's going to fail because the base coding is whack.  But let's look at the second thing I would consider a "base".

 

The company.  The same company that announces within the same press release that you are now going to be allowed to program for them - IF you follow and jump through these 30 obstacle courses.  I mean I can't believe that press release.  They could have just made the announcement that they were opening up, and what the bright future held in store - but no.  That too-thick-with-managers side of them forced the inclusion of all sorts of legal mumbo jumbo. 

 

*"Customers need all their vendors, including and especially Microsoft, to deliver software and services that are flexible enough such that any developer can use their open interfaces and data to effectively integrate applications or to compose entirely new solutions," *

 

Ha.  That's failure number one.

 

*• Ensuring open connections to Microsoft's high-volume products. To enhance connections with third-party products, Microsoft will publish on its Web site documentation for all application programming interfaces (APIs) and communications protocols in its high-volume products that are used by other Microsoft products. Developers do not need to take a license or pay a royalty or other fee to access this information. Open access to this documentation will ensure that third-party developers can connect to Microsoft's high-volume products just as Microsoft's other products do.*

Hey that sounds nice.  Free access?  Maybe I'm wrong?

 

*- Microsoft will indicate on its Web site which protocols are covered by Microsoft patents and will license all of these patents on reasonable and non-discriminatory terms, at low royalty rates. To assist those interested in considering a patent license, Microsoft will make available a list of specificMicrosoft patents and patent applications that cover each protocol.*

 

Uhh... what?  Uh oh.  Am I reading a contract or a press release?  Royalties?  patents?  License?  A list of ... what?  Do they really want me doing this or not?

 

*- Microsoft is providing a covenant not to sue open source developers for development or non-commercial distribution of implementations of these protocols. These developers will be able to use the documentation for free to develop products. Companies that engage in commercial distribution of these protocol implementations will be able to obtain a patent license from Microsoft, as will enterprises that obtain these implementations from a distributor that does not have such a patent license.*

 

Oh shit - did someone say "sue"?  I realize it's in terms of "not" suing, but they are telling me specifically what they WON'T sue me for.  This isn't a press release, this is a fucking warning.

 

*• Documenting how Microsoft supports industry standards and extensions. To increase transparency and promote interoperability, when Microsoft supports a standard in a high-volume product, it will work with other major implementers of the standard toward achieving robust, consistent and interoperable implementations across a broad range of widely deployed products.*

 

Oh, no problem, this is where they tell me that when I make an app they are going to shred it to pieces so that it works with every other fucking thing that is broken in the fucking Microuniverse. 

 

*- Microsoft will document for the development community how it supports such standards, including those Microsoft extensions that affect interoperability with other implementations of these standards. This documentation will be published on Microsoft's Web site and it will be accessible without a license, royalty or other fee. These actions will allow third-party developers implementing standards to understand how a standard is used in a Microsoft product and foster improved interoperability for customers. Microsoft will make available a list of any of its patents that cover any of these extensions, and will make available patent licenses on reasonable and non-discriminatory terms.*

 

Yeah sure, now I get that "free access" means I'm allowed to read it on their site for free.  Thanks guys.  I don't have to pay to read shit off their site.  If I want to make apps that expand and make their products work properly...  for the first time in history.  I'm blown away by the generosity.

 

*• Launching the Open Source Interoperability Initiative. To promote and enable more interoperability between commercial and community-based open source technologies and Microsoft products, this initiative will provide resources, facilities and events, including labs, plug fests, technical content and opportunities for ongoing cooperative development.

Launching an initiative?  Microsoft has truly lost their grounding to Earth and is behaving with the full on bloated bureaucracy of the US Govt.  Guys, there was a press release in here somewhere right?

 

Look there's a lot more I could break down in this so called press release but it sounds a lot more like manager talk to me on the whole, which brings me to the real reason this will fail. The company is fucked.  There are too many fucked up people in charge.  As the MS insider wrote on his blog, there are 30 managers being paid to supervise 10 actual engineers.  There are 30 guys walking around puffing themselves up and trying to justify their existence, for every 10 guys who are actually doing something.  There are 3 people who need to get their fingerprints all over someone else's work, for every one person actually doing something. 

 

This is how they treat their own family!

 

How is it going to be any different for all these "outsiders?"  You really think that every new app isn't going to get stalled, and picked over by every stupid monkey who doesn't really know what he's doing, who is trying to figure out how he can get his name on the packaging for it? 

 

They've told us already in the press release that what they are concerned with is the royalties and the licenses!  Someone has to pick through everything and decide what applies and what doesn't, right?  Even if Apple does it this way too, doesn't it seem like a much scarier proposition in the hands of a Microsoft Manager?  Managers, and the cult of Managers, are a very scary subculture.  They have nothing going on in their heads, and they should be avoided like plague, and when confronted, killed on sight.  Microsoft is more managed than any company in history except Enron.  How on Earth is the average independent going to navigate this field?

 

And for the occasional great app that gets through - do you really think you'll EVEN BE ABLE TO DOWNLOAD IT?!

That was February 2008.  And today, March 2009, the story is all Apple Iphone Apps.  Unbeknownst to me at the time, Apple would be releasing their own press statement truly calling developers to the fold.  It was a fun announcement, and very inspiring, exciting.  They managed to save the 'lawsuit' talk for some other time.